I promised myself I wasn’t going to make it sentimental. Actually, I said I wasn’t even going to celebrate, after all it’s just another day right? I mean, why celebrate birthdays year after year? Why not celebrate just every day of your life? What is in number 33? Yes, your guess right..I am an old woman! 33 years old today! I thought my life was over when I turned 26..then thought I was going to die when I turned 30!. But look at me now! 33 bloody years and I am still standing! How on earth would I not celebrate? So scratch that!!! I will be damned if I don’t celebrate this day! I have so many things to be grateful for!
I mean look at me! I turned out well..I turned out into the fine woman my mum hoped for! I can never be half the woman she is, neither can I be half the woman my grandma( bless her soul) and my aunts were! They are fine women! Strong women! Women of character! Women with golden hearts that will just melt you away! But I don’t want to be my mum.or my grandma..or my aunt..or my cousin..or my sister…I want to be me!They all want me to be ME! I am carved into my own being…my own self soul..and being an individual and being individuals is what makes us human..so I am going to celebrate ME!
I can’t say that it was an easy year.I would be lying! Some months sucked donkey balls! Going through a divorce in a foreign country is one of the toughest periods any person can go through! We shy away from talking about divorces..our cultures prohibits us from talking about it. We shy away, we feel isolated, society shuns us out, our ‘friends’ run away from us, our relatives are too embarrassed to associate with us.We have this stupid shame associated with divorce! But tell you what, I stopped caring the minute I decided to start my life..to be happy…to go out there and explore the world..to take a chance of starting all over again..to be ready to be classified as a ‘divorcee’…yes I am a divorcee…and you know what I don’t give two shits about it!
But it wasn’t so bad really..I mean I had a very very good support network of friends. I learnt what true friendship is. I learnt the meaning of family support. I learnt that it was ok to cry, it was ok to feel sad, it was ok to feel a looser, it was ok to want the world to open up and swallow you up, it was ok to hurt like mad and not be able to do anything to stop it, it was ok to reach out for help, it was ok to be fragile, it was ok to just let it go. But then I learnt to smile again..to laugh, to appreciate..to be me, to speak up my mind and be ok with it, to be responsible for me and my actions, to be responsible for and take ownership of my feelings and emotions. The growth that I experienced during my divorce can never amount to the growth I have had the past 33 years of my life! I am grateful for that!
Good things did happen last year..I mean bloody good things did happen! I got rid of extra baggage in my life( people who pull you down), I fell in love again( still in cloud nine), I strengthened my friendship with real true friends, I made new friends, I got promoted( starting new job in October)..but the most amazing thing that keeps me smiling all day…official registration of Beyond Innocence Foundation( BIF). It breaks my heart to hear about the tales of abuse cases in Taita and the world as a whole.Physical, mental, psychological and sexual abuse of minors. The number of minors going through such horrible acts will break your heart. It tears my heart to pieces to see kids go through this. I can not help all the children in the world..but I hope I can save a few souls, I hope I can make a small difference and help them heal the unseen wounds. I hope that I can help just one kid, if only one to sleep well at night in peace knowing that she/ he doesn’t need to go through the horrible act of abuse forever. The statistics of minors being abused by guardians are shocking. We all can make our small difference, we can save a child’s soul..we can give a second chance to enjoy their childhood…we can make a difference. It will take my years with my savings to get the home ready. I already have the land..ground work has already started..but without your help to build this home quicker, poor souls will still have suffer in hands of abusers. So my birthday wish this year is only one thing that I am asking from my friends, colleagues,family, business associates and anyone out there- PLEASE JOIN ME. Let us build a safe home for these poor souls. Let’s give these kids a chance to life, a chance to education, a chance to safety, a chance to sleep without worry, a chance to life without tears, a chance to laugh again, a chance to just be children! Let’s give them their lives back. We can never undo what has been done to these kids, but we can hold their hands and walk with them through the healing journey. PLEASE JOIN ME.
If you would like to help, please visit our website: www.beyondinnocence.org
Thank you for granting my birthday wish