Scratch End-New Year Resolutions

It’s that time of the year again when we sit and re evaluate ourselves. Think about the year, the good and the bad. What we could have done better, what we need to work on next year. What we need to get rid of  as the new year starts. But then I asked myself, how many times do people really follow and keep up the resolutions they make at the end and start of each year? I can personally say I don’t. So I have come to a conclusion that I will not be making any resolutions this end year-new year period, simply because none of them make sense.

I look back at the things I have done and achieved this year and none of them were part of my resolutions at the start of the year, none of them. So why limit myself when I can just be an open book living a life with no expectations and no commitments and just taking life as it comes?

So much happened this year that I can write a whole book about it. The growth that I have experienced in me as a person is amazing! The realization that life will take you as you come, that mother nature treats you as you tell her to. These are some of the things I have learned this year:

A) On Life

You own your life! You are in control of your life. Life will give you what ask it to. There is no manual to life. You are in total control of your life. Your thoughts will form into real life. So if you think you are total crap, life will give you total crap. If you think you deserve better and work hard to get it, life will give you exactly that. But one thing life will not do is give you hand you things on your lap. Life is hard work with no entertainment to lazy people!

B)On Career.

Just like life, you own your career. Nobody is going to put things on your lap unless you work hard for them. And just like life, there are many obstacles along the way. This will include people who pretend to have your back but still be the first ones to stab you in the back. But like life, if you don’t give out crap to career, you will  not get crap . Women will have to work twice as hard and stop being so darn afraid to ask for more recognition when they think they deserve it, and not stop until they get the recognition.  Women, just like men can have a balance between career and family life, if only we can stop being so afraid to tackle this head on! You think you deserve something, ask for it, fight for it, hell demand it (if you have earned it), and  never stop until you get what you think you are worth, because if you don’t fight your battles for yourself, nobody will!

C)On Friendship

Friendship has different purposes. Friendship has different cycles. And each friendship is different from the other. Each friendship you have with each individual is absolutely unique and is meant to serve different purposes in life. Some friendship is meant to be seasonal, some for life. Some friends are meant to come to your life to lift you up when you are down and when their lifting work is done, they are meant to go-let them go. Some friends are meant to come into your life so that you can lift them up when they are down. When your lifting work is done, you are meant to leave-let them go. Some friends come into your life only to celebrate a particular high phase in your life, when the celebration is done-let them go.  Some friends are meant to hold your hand when you cry and only cry with you, when the tears are gone-let them go. Some friends are meant to only have 3 or 4 drinks with you while you make fools of yourselves fall off bar stools while having a good time, when the drinking is done and you sober up-let them go. Some  friends are only for road trips, some for dance lessons, some for partying over new year, some for banging your head when you loose focus, some to come eat your food and go away, some to only take sneak preview of your life every once in a while. A few friends are meant to stay in your life forever. Bottom line every friend you have has a different purpose in your life and you in their life. It’s ok to let go of friendship that has served it’s purpose and finished it’s work…let it go…

D)On Love

Love is amazing! Love is scary! Love can hurt sometimes! But love is so good. There is so much love in this world for those who attract love. There is enough love to be shared with everyone. There is enough love for everyone! Love will come to you if you have an open heart. You can’t force it, you got to open your heart, have no expectations, no demands, no bad feelings.. just pure open heart. And when you are purely ready, love will come to you., but you can never force it.  If you can’t give love, you can’t receive love either. Without taking the risk of being vulnerable, you will not experience that deep pure love!

E)On Family.

You can never replace your blood family! But people don’t need to be blood to be family. Family is the most reliable friendship you can ever build! Family will stand by you no matter what if you can stand by them! Just like friendship, family also needs respect and boundaries.

A mother is irreplaceable! No love can be as pure and flawless as a mother’s love. She has no expectations, no demands, no hidden agenda, just pure unconditional love!

A father’s love is one of the most special love! Fathers are meant to be tough cookies and don’t do so well in expressing their love in words, yet they will be the first person to take a bullet for you!

A brother and sister love is something you can never explain! The love-hate-fight that can turn into rage and turn is so much admiration and intense love the next minute is something that can not be explained! I can not imagine my life without family.

F)On Giving

“You have not lived today until you have done something for someone who can never repay you’’-John Bunyan.

We have so much in abundance! We have enough for everyone. But yet, people postpone doing something to help someone in need. The right time will never come. You might think what you are doing is so small and trivial, but that small act of love can save a life, lift a spirit and make somebody’s life much better than you would have imagined. Try to give back no matter how small. Strive to leave this world a better place than you found it.

And finally….About Myself.

I can do anything I set my mind on.It’s ok to can say what I want to say while being mindful or other people. It’s ok to  say how I feel. It’s ok to be totally vulnerable. It’s ok to open up my heart and let love in. It’s ok to let go of friendship that has served it’s purpose. It’s ok to stand up for myself and what I believe in even when the world doesn’t agree with me. It’s ok to speak the truth even when it’s too painful.  It’s ok to love myself so selflessly and unconditionally and still have love for everyone else. It’s ok to fight for what I deserve. It’s ok to cry. It’s ok to laugh until my stomach hurts. I am a very strong woman and that’s totally ok, but it’s also ok if my walls crumble down sometimes and I feel weak.

It’s totally ok to be called a Feminist because of strongly believing in women rights, children rights, and human equality in general. It’s ok not to be liked by everyone. It’s ok not to like everyone.

It’s absolutely ok to be this strong willed, strong minded, strong character, totally stubborn African woman, because that’s who I am. It’s ok to always speak my mind as long as I remember that I have no control whatsoever about the reaction the other person will have or act.It’s ok to be me, because this is what and who I am and there is no replacement!

Years will come and go. Don’t waste time making plans on things that you might not live to see. Live your life now!  You don’t know what tomorrow brings. Touch somebody’s life today, don’t wait until next year to do something. Throw way those new year resolutions and start living your life now!

From now on..scratch those resolutions!